And then life happens.

Ive been avoiding my blog.  Not because its bad, but because I’ve actually been sort of busy.  That damn game Armagetron AD has been eating up most of my available time, and resources.  Yes. I AM A GEEK. LOL.

Really tho, Ive been missing sleep and skipping food for that game, and in the span of a week, I’ve gotten pretty good at it.

My ex-mother-in-law has a mary kay open house today.. I said I would go.  So I am.  I’ll get to see my son, which is a big plus.  This will involve some free computer work, but I dont mind, its not going to be hard.  So anyway, I’ll take some time, collect my thoughts, and blog more when I get back.

–Scott

Morning came way too early.

So, Did the server upgrade for that department store which everyone knows and I’m not saying.. I didnt walk in the door at home until about 2:45am.. But here’s where it goes all wrong, I stayed up playing armagetron till about 5:30AM.. Yet I did this knowing FULL WELL I had somewhere to be at 10am this morning.. UGH.. 9:30 came WAY TOO SOON. Oh well, I guess I’ll sleep when im dead eh?

Anyhow, Last nights job went off without a hitch, horray for that. And from what I’ve been told by the project managers, I finished really quick. Heh, I could have done it faster if I didnt eat up 100 of my last 105 phone minutes talking to the girl from yahoo

And its not like I care about the minutes. I can get more phone minutes, and talking to her made the time fly. But, I ran out of minutes, and she had to go to bed, so it was all good. I love getting paid for sitting on my ass, and thats a lot of what that job was.. Put in a CD, Wait 25 minutes, Swap out some hardware, wait 30 minutes while the new drive image installs.. Type a few keys, Wait 30 minutes while a script installs some app’s and the network mojo.. All that x2, because there were two servers. So.. I had plenty of time to talk on the phone

Acquired the new Prodigy album, Their Law OH MAN.. Its nice. If you’re a prodigy fan at all GO GETS IT. Make sure you get the bonus disc too. I’ve also been thinking about putting some pictures of me up here, so you guys can have something to laugh at anyway!

I think I might start doing some CD reviews on here.. Anyone got any suggestions they’d like to see me tear apart? Try to keep it to newer releases.. Those are often easier to find..

– Scott

Halloween, and what am I doing tonight?

Im working. Yes, thats right, I’m spending my Halloween night WORKING… Why you might ask? Because I clearly have no life. None. Nada, Null, Zilch, Zip, Nein. Im doing a server upgrade and replacement for a large national chain department store that rhymes with “Fall Bart.” I can’t even start this project until 8:30ish, because the car center and the medication center have to be closed. And then its about a 5 hour job.. So, 2AM on Nov. 1st, I should be ready to go home.

But, I am not complaining.. No Sir. I would much rather be working, than sitting home, eating candy and getting fat. Again, lack of life. Yeah, I may not have much in the way of a social life, but that will come later. I’m feeling much better as of lately, and working on halloween is the only “Bad” thing I can blog about, and its not even all that bad!

I do want to thank everyone for all their wonderful comments on my past posts. I love getting comments. So thank you very much for them, they are appreciated.

Now for some news on unrelated topics:

I’ve been playing this cool Tron speedbike game called Armagetron. Quite cool, its free, there are plenty of places to play it online, and I’m quite addicted to it at the moment. Stayed up way too late last night playing it (Read: Geek.)

Still talking to the person on yahoo, which I blogged about in the past. She’s very sweet, and we talk often. — Thats all I’m going to say about that, for now.

Feel free to ask me questions in the comments if you want, if theres something you want to know, I will gladly respond, in public or in email if need be.

I really hope everyone has a safe, happy, fun Halloween!

–Scott

Who’s got YOUR back?

I’ve been neglecting my blog lately.. Life’s been busy kicking my ass, as usual.  Thats about par for the golf course that is my life.  Except my life isnt green and manicured.  Picture a golfcourse overgrown with weeds, most of the grass is brown and full of divits, and all the holes seem too small for the golfballs to go into.  Nobody wants to play on a course like that, but that seems to be the course im stuck on.

  I’ve realized lately that my blog entries have been kinda bleak.  I dont feel bleak, at least I dont think I do.  But when I write, this is what comes out.  Maybe I’m dealing with the bad things this way?  I should be putting more positive things here. My life really isnt going so bad, compared to how its been going for the last year or so.  Things ARE getting better for me, regardless of what the things I say here may imply.  I guess when you’re on the bottom, the only place to go is up. 

Or maybe its the fact I’m one of the few people with nothing better to do on a saturday night, other than blog.. Thats kinda sad!  Oh well.  But getting back to topic here…  Who’s got your back?  There are people in life who you know you’ve got their backs, but do you know who has yours?  Do you know who’d be there for you when you need them to be?  I know I’d probably be there for more people than people would be there for me, but I guess thats how its suposed to be.  There are people I KNOW who would be there for me, and they KNOW I would be there for them, because its just like that. 

I also wanted to say I really appreciate the comments I got on the post “NIN and the meaning of life.”  They were helpfull.  I think thats one reason I blog, so I can get opinions and ideas from people other than me.  They often provide other ways of looking at things that I havent thought about.  And for this I am greatfull.  Hopefully my next post will make more sense..

– Scott

Nine Inch Nails, and the meaning of life.

I’ve been spending a lot of time with Nine Inch Nails’ new album With Teeth and I like it. Its a good progression for the band, which I’m glad trent’s back with. The song “Only” is awesome, and the video for that song I would call ground breaking. I’ve been a NIN fan since back in the day, some of the stuff after Pretty Hate Machine and Downward Spiral I didnt much care for. Further Down the Spiral was ok, some of the remixes were good, but the band seemed to lose focus after that. With Teeth however, is exactly what I’ve been waiting for from NIN.

Does a person ever “find” themselves? I’m almost 24, and I still don’t know who I am, metaphorically that is. I know what I want, and I’m trying to achieve it, but I still feel lost sometimes. What defines a person? Is it he who has the most (fun/toys/money/power/sex) wins? There’s got to be more to life than that. Some days it seems like no one really knows who they are. Does everyone have these “lost” days, even after they think they’ve found their place in life, found who they are?

I’m listening to the song “Right where it belongs” off the NIN album With Teeth, and the chorus goes like this:

What if everything around you
Isn’t quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you want it to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks?
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?

Thats so fitting at the moment, I would advise anyone to get this album, and check out the rest of the lyrics to the song here. Which brings me back to the question. Does anyone ever truly find themselves? I’d really like some feedback on this one folks, because quite frankly, I feel lost.

–Scott

Continued Crazyness

Ok, I got a comment on my late night crazyness (yes, I know im mispelling crazyness..) post, and I was asked to continue the story.  This is something I would love to do, but, like you, this story is just beginning for me too, so I hardly know how it ends yet.  However I’ll be more than happy to let some of the details go, considering the person mentioned reads this blog too.. What I write is just as much a surprise for her, as it is for you..  So hopefully, I dont get myself into too much trouble  

Chapter 2

We’re still talking, and every day, every single day that we do talk, the synchronicities seem to be endless.  And about weird stuff too, like, both of us go to the ‘fridge, neither one knowing what we’re gonna get, and both coming back with something pizza related (Me pizza, her pizza lunchables.) We seem to have so many things we have in common, we’ve been trying to find things we dont have in common (other than the obvious, like the plumbing,) but it hasnt been going well, in the most unlikely places and ways we find lots, and lots of similar stuff.  The funny thing is, it’s been getting to the pont where we’re starting to think that these so-called coincidences, really cant be just that.  There’s gotta be a reason for this.  But we’re both kinda slow to explore this further, we’ve both been in relationships where we really got hurt, we both have kids to take care of, we’re both busy people.  But I cant help feeling that theres more to this thats what’s being shown on the surface.  And I would love to find out, but im not going to push anyone.. I know I know, sometimes people need to be pushed, but, I aint like that. Regardless of what happens, Im glad I’ve met her, she’s a really great person and it makes me a better person just knowing her.  So, I’ve got a personal interest in this story, hopefully it has a happy ending.  More later.

– Scott

Bloggin’ ain’t easy.

    To me this sounds like a song title, for some band who happens to be technologically hip.  Say, maybe Beck, or Harvey Danger, possibly even some indie band, those guys are usually tech-hip. Its about the only way they’ll get any exposure untill someone picks them up if they’re good enough. 

   
    My problem with blogging seems to be a lack of things to say.. Wait, no.  Thats not entirely true.  I have plenty of things to say, but, my mental filter process seems to nix a lot of stuff from public view.  Where do you draw the line?  How do you determine what to offer up for public consumption?  And of the snippets of your thought process that DO make it onto the blog, how do you tell if they’re worth reading anyway?  That brings up the question who is a blog for?  Is it for you, or everyone else?  Ugh, I’m making my brain hurt.. Time for a shower.

–Scott

Scott needs….

I ran across this in another blog.. google for “[firstname] needs” like “Scott needs” for me, and you will have google give you a result of your needs.. Yeah, I know, stupid web trick.. but I’m easily entertained.. So, here are my needs.

Scott really needs Mozilla
Scott needs to get out more
Scott needs nude models
Scott needs a partner
Scott needs to back up his regrets with action
Scott needs less of John’s vocals and more of Ahmer’s kick and snare
Scott needs no introduction

Heh.. The last two are from pages about the band Stone Temple Pilots frontman Scott Weiland, but still funny.  I like the nude models one, but only if the models are women.

Slashdotters are funny people.

I just spent the better part of an hour reading the feedback from the slashdot post about Flock.  I happen to like flock, alot.. It’s pretty flockin cool and Frickin Shweet.  That being said, it seems to me that you either really like flock, or you really dont.  I havent seen much middle ground yet.. Sure there are the obligatory people who say “It’s ok, I’ll use it when it hits 1.0″ Buit as far as I’m concerned those people fall into the “Like” category as well.  Those in the “Dont Like” category keep bitching about bloggers and emo-teens — as if those things are one in the same.  Yes, slashdot is full of eliteist hippies — and these are the people who do the majority of feedback posting because the people with real social lives are either out doing things, or too unconcerned with trying to change a stubborn slashdotters view of a particular subject.  However, I still read slashdot, granted, I rarely-if-ever post anything in feedback, but I find it hillarious at times to read.  Occasionally it’s even insightful.

late night crazyness

Ok, so, ive been talking to this girl on yahoo for over a week now.. She only lives about 50 miles or less from me, but the odd thing is, we’ve both been thru alot of shit in our lives, a lot. But so much of what she’s been thru is so similar to my life experiences. There are so many similarities between us that its mind boggling. So many of our likes are the same, and even some of our bad habits. She smokes the same kind of cigarettes I do. There are so many little nuances that I dont have the time, or patience to try to begin to convey them all here.. Maybe some day I’ll expound on this, maybe not. But the whole thing is just so un-normal, in a really good way tho. I guess thats only fair tho. My life has been pretty f’in un-normal. I know, I know, most people will say “Normal is a relative term,” it depends on who’s defining it. Im just saying from a general sense, im not normal. I have no idea if its bad or good, but its who I am. I cant really help that much. So far, I like the way my life is starting to turn out.. Its been one hell of a rocky road, and I’m sure I havent even seen the biggest of the rocks in my path, yet. But I’ll keep doing what I have to do to make it down that path, put one foot in front of the other, and take what comes as it comes.

–Scott